Phil. 4:6-7

Phil. 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Wise words from a wise man. A man who was in prison. His life was at stake. Yet was at peace. The apostle Paul, to have faith like his, can you imagine??

The New Living Translation says "then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand."

Living a life patterned after Phil. 4:6-7 is not easy for me. I struggle for control, I become anxious, I read into things, I assume things and I expect things. None of which brings peace.

When I tell people I've returned to school, that I am working on my degree in counseling psychology as well as working towards becoming a certified doula, the question usually asked is... "what do you want to do when you are done?" I know what I want to do, but I don't know if it's God's plan.

Going back to school is exciting, it's fun, it makes me realize I can do more than I give myself credit for. Don't get me wrong, it is hard work, it takes time away from my family, there are days I question why I even started.

I have the best support. Jody and the kids give me the time to study and do the work, which there is a LOT of. Even with the support I get really scared. I wonder if its fair to the kids. Am I going to fail. Is it going to be a waste of our money. I know these seeds of doubt are planted by the one who doesn't want me to succeed. My success will be credited to his arch enemy. It's during these times that I need to pray and petition. To prostrate myself before the One who can relieve the anxiety. Yet I don't. I spend time playing the "what if" game.

Being totally transparent here, the 2 biggest are "what if God doesn't want us to go back to Haiti?" and "what if the ministry I want to be a part of doesn't want me?"

So many fears, so many doubts. So much to work on.

For now I will stay the course and press on. When my mind begins to play the dangerous game of "what if" I will turn my eyes heavenly and fall to my knees. Otherwise all the "what ifs" will become "why God whys".

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" Phil 4:13