$2.65

These first few weeks of being on my own have been difficult. As you all know, we are in a recession right now and economically speaking, there are a lot of people struggling. Last week I was very humbled. There was a problem with my bank account in California and I had no money, literally. I’ve never known what that was like. I had no gas to get home from work and no money in the bank. I scrounged around in my car and found $2.65 in change. I dumped my change on the counter of the gas station and felt pretty embarrassed. Well, I got home, but how was I to get to work tomorrow morning? I had to swallow my pride and ask my roommate to borrow some money.
And then my mind drifts off to Haiti as it often does. I am blown away by the fact that I was able to find more money than the average Haitian earns in a days worth of work. And the cost of living is by no means cheaper in Haiti. Gas is $2 more per gallon right now. I felt what it was like to have no money, but I’ve never known poverty. I often open at work. I hate opening. I know a lot of people say it, but if you know me, you know that I’m not a morning person. I feel sick if I get up while it’s still dark. While I was at work, steaming about the fact that I’d been at work for 2 hours, it was still dark out, and we hadn’t had a single customer yet, the Lord spoke to me. Images of the hands of the people who sell charcoal and wash clothes all day flashed in my mind. I was reminded of the people who get up at 3 am, carry loads of goods on their heads down the mountain side, and then ride a crammed tap-tap for hours just to get to the market to sell before sunrise.
And then I thought about what it means to be desperate. Dictionary.com gives these definitions of “desperate:”
1. reckless or dangerous because of despair or urgency
2. having an urgent need, desire, etc.
3. leaving little or no hope; very serious or dangerous
4. extremely bad; intolerable or shocking:
5. extreme or excessive.
6. making a final, ultimate effort; giving all:
7. actuated by a feeling of hopelessness.
8. having no hope; giving in to despair
If I was truly feeling in a state of desperation, I live in a country that has endless government programs. I have family who can support me for a short amount of time while I get back on my feet. I was given enough education (I say given because it was free) that I could find a job that would give me enough to eat. By no means am I saying the US is perfect or that we don’t have people living in poverty. I’m just humbled by the gravity of how much I truly have.

Haiti is desperate. Many who had hope, have lost it. While one young boy was able to buy a chicken for his family last month, he can barely afford rice now. Those who were able to feed their children yesterday, hate today because it cannot provide and beg tomorrow to bring them solace. Desperation leads to extreme acts. In this situation, violence has erupted in Haiti. There are those who have faith in Jesus Christ and therefore have not lost hope, but they are still suffering. Let us all pray for those who are reckless and dangerous because of their despair. Let us pray for the leaders of the beautiful and tumultuous country of Haiti. Let us fervently pray and ask the Lord how we can help. Let us all be humbled.