Another post about Haiti. Really, Gail??

I know most of you are probably tired of them but I find I am able to process my thoughts and feelings better if I write them out. And besides... its my blog. You can always skip reading this one :) so yes... really!

Kynsley informed me that Christmas is just a few weeks away. She then proceeded to rattle off a slew of things she just can not live without, a few items on her list include...a new DSI (the one she has doesn't have the latest gadgets), bike, scooter(again the one she has isn't enough), every jewelry/art kit she has ever seen on TV as well as a few odd requests such as a spin toothbrush and one of those bathroom thingies that you hang on the wall that holds soap and spits it out when you put your hands under it! Of course all of the other kids also gave me a list that would cost enough to feed a family of 4 in Haiti for their entire lives!

Today Kynsley, Landon and Sutton also decided on their Halloween costumes from a magazine, all which cost outrageous amounts of money for something they will only wear for a few hours.

I know I shouldn't be frustrated with them, they see what their friends have and don't want to be left out. The media tries to convince them that they truly can not live without these items. But, for some reason I am. And I'm frustrated with myself as well. I find myself looking at clothes, shoes, decorating items and other things that really aren't necessary.

I hear almost everyday... "I'm bored", "there is nothing to do", "its too hot/cold outside", "none of my friends are outside so its not any fun", "there is nothing to eat" and the list goes on. TV, video games and other mindless entertainment have invaded our home. Of course it is mostly our fault because we allow it to happen.

I've talked to other parents about it and the response is usually "its just the way it is now", "my kids don't go outside without us because its not safe" (this comment amazes me! We live in an affluent city relatively low in crime and the people saying it live in the "best" parts of town) and my favorite "its the American way".

Our children (I don't just mean my children but American children as a whole) have learned to be bored unless they are constantly entertained by an outside source. For the most part they do not use their imaginations or creativity.

This "i need to have it" phenomenon has made me think about another time in our lives.

I know my children are capable of playing without TV, video games, other young people and expensive toys. When we first moved to Haiti they had no choice. I remember Dylan and Kynsley spending an entire afternoon stripping 2 small tree branches that had broken off the tree in our yard of all their bark with rocks and finally a dull knife. They then shaped them into swords, bracelets and suspenders. When they were finished with one item they would undo it and re bend the sticks. This was done outside in 85 degree weather and 100% humidity. They never once complained it was too hot or they were bored that afternoon. They made that day fun!

Our nannies taught the kids how to weave/braid string into bracelets. Many afternoons after homeschooling was done, they spent practicing their bracelet making skills. They sang songs in creole and in English. They played tag in our yard. They jumped rope and played hopscotch. Occasionally they would leave our yard and would go to the empty lot down the street from our house and play with or just watch the neighborhood kids play soccer.

We also walked down the hill almost everyday and got fresh eggs, fruit and vegetable from the market. As a family with every child helping (except Isaiah who was only 18 months old) we would walk back to our house carrying groceries. it was a LONG walk up un-paved, rock strewn roads. As we passed we were the entertainment for the Haitians who lived or worked in the area. The kids would complain occasionally that it was hot or the bags were too heavy but they made the walk anyway.

They ate mangoes off the trees, rice and beans and fresh veggies. They drank mostly water and fresh squeezed juice was a treat. My picky eaters even ate avocados, onions and tomatoes because that was what was available. We had no car, no refrigerator and no stove. When it was hot in the afternoon we napped. We took cold "bucket" showers to conserve water.

Most nights we had no electricity. We danced in candlelight to a battery powered radio. If we had electricity we all crowded around the laptop and watched movies, sitting on a love seat and 2 chairs that certainly weren't big enough for all of us but somehow we made it work.

Once Jody got to Haiti we were able to buy a car, stove and refrigerator. We were able to drive to the larger market and get more "American" food. We were able to go to the beach and even eat out. We still rarely had electricity during the day and had to save the inverter power for the frig so we couldn't use any other electrical devices. There were times when we couldn't go anywhere because it wasn't safe to be out or gas was just too expensive.

I'm asked regularly why I loved living in Haiti and why I want to move back. It's hard to explain to people who can't imagine not having every convenience imaginable at their finger tips. Who do not know the joy of seeing your children learn a new language, give their toys to a child who has never owned one or decide to skip buying a treat at the store so they could buy the lady on the corner a pair of shoes. The wonder of a child who discovers how to make things on their own and wants to go to an orphanage just so they can hold a baby that needs holding.

As Christmas approaches we are trying to balance allowing our children to enjoy the privileges of living in the US and not allowing them to take those privileges for granted. We are trying to balance the amount of "things" we have with the amount of giving we do to worthy causes. We try to balance our pride of being Americans and living in the land of plenty with our desire to be among the people of our second home, Haiti. It's not easy to do but we must find a way. We have no other choice.