whats next

Has it really been almost 4 months since I blogged? Why is it that time goes by so fast?
A little snippet of the last 4 months:

• Football ended for Shane. Great season, won MEL title and went 10-2
• Kynsley joined a competition gymnastics team. She will start competing this summer.
• We said good-bye to a dear friend, Clyde Haltom when he went to be with Jesus. He will be greatly missed.
• Gail, Jimmy, Dylan, Isaiah and Kynsley all had birthdays.
• Enjoyed Thanksgiving and Christmas with family and friends.
• Gail started at William Jessup University in their Professional Studies Program. It's 19 months of intense studies but in the end she will have a bachelors in counseling psychology.
• Gail and the kids have started re-learning Creole. We have forgotten so much and realize we also picked up some really bad habits!
• Shane is teaching Jody French...or trying to :)
• Carsen traveled to Haiti to HaitiArise. She was there for 10 days. Hopefully soon she will share some of her story and pictures.
• In March Gail will begin her training as a doula.

Now that the update is over...

There are nights I cant sleep with the thoughts swirling around in my head. There is so much going on in our lives there is never enough time in the day to sit and focus long enough to write everything down.

Today my thoughts are on what is coming next. I spend so much time "in the moment" that I often forget that there is a future to consider. I know we are told,"... do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Math. 6:34) but I know it is impossible to not look ahead and plan for the future. Life doesn't work that way. Planning is essential.

We are at a point in our lives that it is time to consider "what's next? What is God calling us to do?" and even harder to consider "does His plan fit into our plan and does His plan push us outside our comfort zones?"

It's time to look ahead and decide what is best for our family. Jody can retire in Oct. 2011. Shane will be graduating from high school in June 2012. I will be finishing my BA program in Aug. 2012. Leaving California is the most logical thing to do. It is expensive to live here and our retirement dollar will go much further elsewhere. But, other than our year in Haiti we haven't lived anywhere else. Once we leave California it will be nearly impossible to return. Although the state is far from ideal, it is what we know. It is comfortable. We know the laws, the school systems, the way things are done.

Should we return to Haiti? My first response is "YES". I want to go back. But, is it the right choice for our family? We know several families that are living in "post-earthquake Haiti" and are doing just fine. But, can we? I have not been to Haiti since January 2009, Jody even longer. Is the love we have for the country still real or just a memory we refuse to let go of? It's time for a trip, it's time to go see. In some ways I am scared to go. Scared that my love has diminished or disappeared all together. That I will have to say good-bye to a dream, good-bye to something that has been in my heart for so long now.

If not Haiti, where? Another country to do missions work? So far we don't feel a calling anywhere else. We have the desire to visit places but do not feel the desire to move the entire family there. Another state? But which one? There are a few that would be easier than others to move to because of friends that live there. Friends that would make navigating a new city, new doctors, new schools, new everything so much easier. But, is that the right choice? Is this taking the easy way out?

As we ponder these decisions its hard not to second guess everything we do. We are trying hard to keep the doors open, working hard to not be closed minded or have preconceived ideas about what God wants from us. Trying really hard to let God direct our decision making and not try to manipulate things to our liking. We are taking steps to help with any move, no matter where it may be. Being a counselor and a doula is something I can do anywhere. Speaking creole would only help in Haiti but learning any language is stimulating and fun. Jody returning to school and getting his BS can help with a second career, whether it's with the UN in Haiti, another country or in another state. The same with learning to speak French.

Our desire is to live our life to the fullest, to please the Creator and to leave a legacy for our children. We aren't sure what that looks like but we do know that we are open to looking for it.


"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'." Erma Bombeck