Ever feel like you just got a spanking???

That's how I felt after church today. Like my Heavenly Father had personally called me into His room and delivered a much needed spanking!

The past few weeks (maybe even months) my lack of faith has led my life. I've allowed sinful behaviors from my past to creep into my life, I've allowed myself to lead, never once asking God if what I was doing was acceptable or pleasing to Him. God revealed some of this to me while I was in Haiti and has continued to reveal it to me since being home. 3 times today in a 2 hour span!! First during Impact group (kinda like Sunday school), we are currently going through the Love and Respect video series. Today's lesson was really geared towards the men but a few points really hit home. God sent His son to die for us, something I've known for many years. But, today it really hit home that someone else took the pain and suffering for me, for MY SIN!! For my poor choices, for my lack of judgement, for my lack of faith! He did this willingly, without hesitation. Jesus loved me so completely that He paid my ransom!! What an amazing thing!! Even though I continue to sin, even though I turn my back on what I know deep down is the "right thing" to do, even though "I know better" Jesus still took that sin from me and made it His own! He knew before I sinned that I was going to do it, as I was sinning He stood before the Father and allowed me the chance to come before the throne and ask for forgiveness!!

Then during worship today we sang the song "Never Let Go", a song I have song many, many times. But, today it really hit home. The chorus says:

"Oh no, You never let go Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth"

As I sang that song today I realized that God has not let go of me or turned His back on me, He is there through the calm, the storms, the highs and the lows. All I have to do is reach out to Him and He will be there. Even when the "Storms" are self imposed, He is still there.

And finally, during our pastors sermon, God spoke once again to this sinner's heart. We have been in the book of Esther and Pastor Bill has been preaching on the subject of "Living large with O.P.C.'s (Other Peoples Craziness)". You can read or see this series by going to www.ncredding.com and clicking on the sermon podcast link. Pastor talked about lack of faith being the biggest issue in our lives. That we need to step out on faith, that's all God asks. We are not responsible for the outcome, that is God's doing. He is the only one that knows the master plan and who are we to question that plan?? We are simply to have faith that God is in control, that He loves us and He will make things work out! The ending is up to Him not us. I can not direct what other people do, think or say. I can not base my faith (or lack thereof) on someone Else's, including my husband and children's. And when I give into the temptation that Satan lays out before me, I am basically saying that I know more then God does so I going to do things my way!!

So.... now that I have had my proverbial "spanking" it is time to ask for forgiveness, accept that Jesus died on the cross for me and live each day in a way that is pleasing to my Father. I will stumble, I will backslide, I will fail miserably but I know without a shadow of a doubt that God will be there to catch me when I fall and I know through faith that He will make it right again!