New pictures of Isaiah

Here are a few new pictures of our little guy. . . although, he isn't all that little. Isaiah, also known as Zi, is currently 8 1/2 months old and already weighs 18 lbs and is 26 1/2 inches long!

Isaiah after his bath!











Hanging out on Sissy's bed.









Zi's first tooth!














A very unhappy Zi, after mom took away his chocolate cake!







Zi in an Indiana Toyota shirt, is that a "sign"??
















Zi's beautiful profile.




Thanks to Anne, Angela, Megan and Carsen for the great pictures!

The joys of a simple life

We have recently been "simplifying" things in our life in preparation for our possible move to Haiti. Most of the extras have been cut out and the clutter is gone. Some amazing things have happened as a result. The family has started spending more time together doing simple activities. Tonight after dinner we went outside to "cool off" since we are using the air conditioning less to prepare our bodies for the heat in Haiti. It was a beautiful night!

Jody read to Sutton.

The other kids all jumped on the trampoline together then played football in the grass.

It was a wonderful evening which reinforces to me that we really do not need mass amounts of toys, movies, games etc. for our children to be happy. A few books, a football and a tattered trampoline were quite enough!

Praise God for quiet evenings at home (well as quiet as it can be with 5 kids!!) and the joy that comes from watching them interact!

p.s. Sorry the pictures are so dark, it was getting late and the sun had started going down.

I have been very quiet on the blog for the past few weeks. I have been struggling with some issues (sin) in my life that are too painful to share. I truly believed that I needed to put on my happy face and show the world that I was fine. In reality I have not been “fine” or anything near to fine. I also believed that I was alone in my struggle and that no one could possibly relate to my pain. A feeling of judgment and condemnation has also been present. I have been leery of sharing my pain on the internet. I have no idea who reads my blog, but I’m sure there are many who are not believers. I have worried that my struggles would give an excuse to those who do not believe in Jesus as their Savior, to not place their trust in Him. But, since this is my way of communicating with so many of my friends and family, and those same people have to know something is wrong by my silence and are worried about me, I felt it was time to come out of hiding and lay my heart out for all to see.

Thankfully, for me and my family, God has opened doors to healing. He has shown us that we am not alone in our suffering and that although there will be those that judge us or condemn us, they are not the ones who matter. The only One who matters is our Heavenly Father and if we ask for His forgiveness with a true and pure heart, He is quick to forgive and our sin will be washed away! What a glorious and wonderful thing Forgiveness is!

Since, I now know I am not alone in my pain, I felt called to share some scripture that has ministered to my heart in a hope that my pain may be used for His glory. For without God, I am nothing! And my sin would be my eternal damnation. But, by the power of the blood that Jesus shed on the cross I am cleansed! Yes, there are earthly consequences to our sins but those do not take away the forgiveness God grants to us. Instead, God gives us the strength to press on, to make amends to those we wrong and to give us the strength to forgive ourselves. Praise be to God.

Psalm 91 (New Living Translation)

1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I trust him.
3 For he will rescue you from every trap
and protect you from deadly disease.
4 He will cover you with his feathers.
He will shelter you with his wings.
His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
5 Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,
nor the arrow that flies in the day.
6 Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,
nor the disaster that strikes at midday.
7 Though a thousand fall at your side,
though ten thousand are dying around you,
these evils will not touch you.
8 Just open your eyes,
and see how the wicked are punished.
9 If you make the Lord your refuge,
if you make the Most High your shelter,
10 no evil will conquer you;
no plague will come near your home.
11 For he will order his angels
to protect you wherever you go.
12 They will hold you up with their hands
so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.
13 You will trample upon lions and cobras;
you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!
14 The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.
I will protect those who trust in my name.
15 When they call on me, I will answer;
I will be with them in trouble.
I will rescue and honor them.
16 I will reward them with a long life
and give them my salvation.”


Psalm 103:11-13 (NIV)-

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him


John 8 (NIV)-

1But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" 6They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.

7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" 11"No one, sir," she said. Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

Whether the sin is adultery, gossip, anger, addiction, envy, or any other sin, the meaning of Jesus’ words are the same, He does not condemn us of our sin but frees us from it! He gave his blood so we could have eternal life. It is only with forgiveness that healing can begin.


“Thank you, Jesus for the Grace You give to me. Help me to live each of my days striving to be more like You. Help me to know that I am not perfect and I will make mistakes but with my eyes focused upward to You, I will be able to get through those times. Forgive me my sins and lead me towards a better understanding of why I do the things I do and teach me Your ways so I will do those things no more! Remind me when I become judgmental that I am as sinful as anyone else, help me to love other sinner’s as You love me. Teach me be a comfort and not full of harm, to be understanding and not judgmental, to be a help and not a hindrance. Teach me to always turn to You in my deepest despair and allow Your healing presence to wash over me. In Your Holy and Precious name I pray! Amen”

Haiti here we come!!!!!!!!

The kids and I are moving to Haiti!! I'm not sure the country is ready for us.

We took a huge leap of faith and bought our tickets yesterday, we leave on Oct. 11!! Much later then I hoped but with Shane's knee injury and the price of tickets being what they are, we knew we needed to wait!! We did find such a great deal on tickets, it's worth the wait!

We still do not know when Jody will be deployed or where he will be stationed in Haiti once he is. We do not know where all the money is coming from for the move. BUT... we do know that this is what God is calling us to do, we are trusting in Him completely. He will provide! He will be glorified! He will be praised!

Please, pray for us as we wait on God's provisions. Pray we are able to get everything we need to go. Pray we are able to spend quality time together before we leave. Pray for strength for Jody as he is separated from us.

Also, pray that Shane's knee heals quickly so he is able to fulfill his need to hit people in a constructive, culturally acceptable way and more importantly so he does not require surgery!

Bummer for Shane

Yesterday was the first day of full contact football practice for Shane. Within an hour of practice starting Shane was participating in tackling drills. During the drills he was tackled from the side and ended up hurting his knee.

I took him to the doctor today and we found out he tore the collateral ligament in his right knee. The swelling and pain is too severe to see if the Meniscus is also damaged. He needs to go back in 2 weeks when the swelling goes down to find out if a trip to the orthopedic surgeon is necessary.

At this point it looks like his football season is over before it even started!! He is really bummed but is trying to remain positive. For now he is off his feet for at least a week. Too bad, we just decided to get rid of cable. I guess I'll be buying the new Harry Potter book after all.

Happy Birthday, Sutton!!

Today is Sutton's third birthday. It is really hard to believe that she is 3! She is without a doubt, my most trying child but I love her oh so much! She has the sweetest laugh and loves to cuddle. She is growing so fast and changing everyday. I thank God everyday for bringing this wild child into our lives!! She makes everyday an adventure!

I should also point out that I did not post about our other 2 July birthday's. Carsen turned 19 on July 22nd and Landon turned 4 on July 13th. Both of which I missed. I was leaving for Haiti on Landon's birthday (he did get sung to and had a special lunch before we headed out to the airport). And we left Haiti the day before Carsen's (she also had special meal of lasagna before we left Haiti).

Missing birthday's seems to be a trend this year, I was in Haiti for Shane's in May and I will be in Haiti for Jody's in August! I need to really plan my trips better, don't I?!?!?

Just another day in the life of the Gray's

This post is really for Carsen. She has been missing her siblings. And they have been missing her!! Yesterday (AGAIN!!) Kynsley asked me when Sissy was coming home! Although they miss her terribly life must go on!

Last night after taking Shane to Football practice we took the other kids to Ice Cream. One of my fondest memories from my childhood was going to Thrifty drug store and getting a $.29 scoop of ice cream with my family. Well... it's now called Rite Aid and the scoops are now $.99 but it is still fun.

No time for a picture with the boys! They were way to busy finishing their cones.

The girls on the other hand were all cheese!

Carsen, hope you enjoy the pictures. We really do miss you but know you are right where God wants you!! Love ya' Poohbear! I'll see you soon!

20 years ago today...

... I was a young impressionable 18 year old girl with her whole life ahead of her ...uunmmm that's not really the truth let me start again!!


20 years ago today I was a stubborn, wild, know it all, always looking for trouble, 18 year old woman who was ready to commit her life to an equally stubborn, wild, know it all, slightly older 26 year old man! Despite the many warnings to wait until I was older, to wait until after I finished college, the warnings that it wouldn't last, I knew that I knew that I knew that I was meant to be Jody's wife!





20 years (and 9 kids) later, I still know that I know that I know that I am meant to be Jody's wife!





Jody, Happy Anniversary, sweetheart! Thanks for the last 20 years and I pray that God blesses us with another 20 (or 30 or 40... years that is... not kids!!!!!).

some pictures from the trip

These are pictures of the Livesay's place in La Digue. It is absolutely beautiful there.

Here are a few of Carsen and Brit "packing" an abscess they just drained.

Isaiah and Phoebe had fun "playing" together!

We had fun in the sun at the IboLele Hotel!!

And... a few of the kids at the "O"!! Sorry, there aren't more, but like I mentioned earlier today, I kept forgetting my camera at St. Joseph's!!

we're back!!

Jody and I arrived yesterday afternoon. It was an interesting journey. We had an 8 hour lay-over in Miami so we took a cab to a mall in Miami and just hung out.

Our plane to LA was late departing but the pilot made up time in the air only to arrive at LAX and sit on the runway for over an hour because there were no open gates!!

We stayed at the Raddison (which was very nice) and then caught another plane to Sacramento. We had a problem with one of the tires on the car on the way to the airport so had to stop in Woodland (the city we used to live in prior to moving to Redding) at the local Walmart and get 2 new tires!! The one nice thing about being there was running into Isaac, Christine and Logan!! Jody gave Christine away when she got married to Issac but since we moved we have not seen them nearly as much as we would like to!! Logan is 5 months old and this is the first time Jody and I got to see him!! See... God can use ANY circumstance to create good things!!

We had a great time in Haiti. Isaiah is getting so big! He is so easy going and just so much fun to be around. We had a great time visiting the Livesay's, thanks guys, we can't wait to see you again! And, Brit the college applications are being mailed today!!!!

It was great getting to see the "Indiana crew" again (as well as meeting some of them for the first time). We did not spend as much time at the "O" as we usually do, between looking at houses, visiting the Livesay's, celebrating our anniversary and Jody meeting with people from the UN, we hardly had time to!! I also, did not get as many pictures as I would have liked to. I kept forgetting my camera at St. Joseph's!! I will post pictures as soon as I can.

As far as our move goes.... we still do not know anything! I really hope God reveals His plan to us soon! This waiting is driving me nuts!! Patience is just not a virtue I have learned yet!

What Am I Afraid of?

Hey there, it's Jody again. No this is not going to be one of those Blog Posts like last time. I'm over all that. So.....you wanna know what I'm afraid of? I'll tell you but first a little background. I, for a living, race towards people with guns in their hands threatening to do harm to the first person they see while the rest of the normal population is running, sometimes screaming, away from the bad people with the guns. No fear. I breech, (that means "force open" for the unfamiliar with that term) sometimes with explosives, locked, barricaded doors where I KNOW there is someone on the other side waiting to harm me. No fear. I VOLUNTEER to be the first one, of a ten man team, through the door on "High Risk" warrant services. (Unless you're the lead dog, the view never changes). No fear. I'm the first onto the helicopter, standing on the skids, (the things most helicopters land on) waiting to either repel or "fast rope" off of the skid 100 feet above the roof of some building where there are bad guys we have to go search for and arrest. Again, no fear.

So what AM I afraid of? Flying. Normal, every day commercial jet flying. I hate it. I've been grumpy all day because I know that tomorrow I have to fly if I want to go to Haiti. What bothers me? Follow along here. What do they call the building where you wait to board your flight? The Terminal. Hmmm. Then they announce "This is the FINAL boarding call for flight........" Real comforting. What does the pilot tell you via the loud speaker when you are about to arrive? "Please prepare for our FINAL APPROACH" Does he know something we don't? He is, after all, flying the flippin plane. There is a reason they have bars serving alcoholic beverages right next to the gate. I'm one of those reasons. Liquid Courage is sometimes a good thing for me. I once flew to Minnesota in the dead of winter on a big jet. Gail and the rest of the family neglected to tell me that once at the Big Airport, we were going to have to change planes to some little 10 passenger turbo-prop plane to take us to Peoria Illinois, our FINAL DESTINATION. I walked out of the airport onto the tarmac, saw the plane we were headed for and immediately dug my heels into the ice on the ground. It took Gail, my Father-in-Law and my Brother-in Law all of their strength to load my shivering, angry 'frady cat 225 pound butt into that little plane. I then had to help the pilot with both the take-off and landing. "Little more rudder, little more flap" I'm sure the death grip I had on the armrests of my seat is the only way that plane landed safely. So, there you have it. Flying. It is going to be a joyous day tomorrow. The only thing that keeps me going is that I get to see 3 of my children, meet some new people, see some old friends and visit a place that I have truly come to love. So pray for me. But more than that, pray for Gail. She has to put up with me on planes and in airports for the next 24 hours. She is going to need all the help she can get.

Just a few more days...

And I will get to see 3 of my children and be back in the place I feel is my home!! I was just there 3 weeks ago but it seems much longer.

Jody is going with me on this trip and he is so anxious to get there and love on his kids, meet with the people from the UN and hang out with the mission's team.

This trip will be a little different for me though. I recently took a "leave of absence" from the board of directors. This trip, I will go simply as an adoptive parent. No meetings to attend, no government official to deal with, no responsibilities at the orphanage except helping with projects and loving on my kids! I'm actually looking forward to spending time with all the kids, taking a ton of pictures (which I never seem to have time for any more) and relaxing at St. Joseph's with the team.

Jody and I will also be house hunting on Monday. I found a house on my last trip and I'm hoping it is still available for rent. And that Jody will love it as much as I do.

We will go to La Digue to visit with the Livesay's (http://www.livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/), a family from Minn. that moved to Haiti a few years ago with 5 kids! We are hoping to get some great insight and idea's from them to help make our move easier.

We are also hoping to spend one night at the IboLele Hotel for our 20th wedding anniversary.

http://www.ibolelehotel-haiti.com/

Hhhhhhmmmm.... it is sounding more and more busy!!! But, I can't wait!!

Financing our move to Haiti

We still do not know where the money is coming from for our move. Until our house sells we will not have any extra money.



Saturday we are having a garage sale. I put an ad in the local paper that came out this morning. We have already made our first sale!! We had someone come to the house today asking about our bunk beds. They bought them for our full asking price!! God is so good!



We were also approached by our neighbor that is very interested in buying one of our cars. We were not going to sell either of our small cars and keep them in storage, but after a lot of prayer we have decided that we really only need to keep one of them (for Carsen when she comes home in January). With the sale of the car and most of our stuff this weekend we will have enough to fund the move without waiting for the house to sell.



Please, pray that people come to the garage sale. It is supposed to be 110 degrees on Saturday and we live on the outskirts of town so we are not on the traditional "garage sale route".



If we are able to get everything together Gail and the kids will move to Haiti in mid-August. Jody will remain in California working until his deployment (scheduled for November). Pray that Jody is able to stand the 4 month separation without going crazy. Also, that the house we looked at in Haiti is still available when we are ready to move.

Jody pointed out today, that if we sell everything we are planning on selling, we will literally have NOTHING if for some reason he does not get deployed!! Talking about walking on FAITH!! No house, no car's, no furniture, no washer/dryer, only the few items we have put into storage and the few things we are taking to Haiti.

We are stepping out on FAITH and relying on our Father to carry us through. Jody received an e-mail from a friend a few days ago. In it was the saying...

"The Will of God will never take you to where to Grace of God will not PROTECT you!"

We have decided that will be our motto from now on.

Ever feel like you just got a spanking???

That's how I felt after church today. Like my Heavenly Father had personally called me into His room and delivered a much needed spanking!

The past few weeks (maybe even months) my lack of faith has led my life. I've allowed sinful behaviors from my past to creep into my life, I've allowed myself to lead, never once asking God if what I was doing was acceptable or pleasing to Him. God revealed some of this to me while I was in Haiti and has continued to reveal it to me since being home. 3 times today in a 2 hour span!! First during Impact group (kinda like Sunday school), we are currently going through the Love and Respect video series. Today's lesson was really geared towards the men but a few points really hit home. God sent His son to die for us, something I've known for many years. But, today it really hit home that someone else took the pain and suffering for me, for MY SIN!! For my poor choices, for my lack of judgement, for my lack of faith! He did this willingly, without hesitation. Jesus loved me so completely that He paid my ransom!! What an amazing thing!! Even though I continue to sin, even though I turn my back on what I know deep down is the "right thing" to do, even though "I know better" Jesus still took that sin from me and made it His own! He knew before I sinned that I was going to do it, as I was sinning He stood before the Father and allowed me the chance to come before the throne and ask for forgiveness!!

Then during worship today we sang the song "Never Let Go", a song I have song many, many times. But, today it really hit home. The chorus says:

"Oh no, You never let go Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth"

As I sang that song today I realized that God has not let go of me or turned His back on me, He is there through the calm, the storms, the highs and the lows. All I have to do is reach out to Him and He will be there. Even when the "Storms" are self imposed, He is still there.

And finally, during our pastors sermon, God spoke once again to this sinner's heart. We have been in the book of Esther and Pastor Bill has been preaching on the subject of "Living large with O.P.C.'s (Other Peoples Craziness)". You can read or see this series by going to www.ncredding.com and clicking on the sermon podcast link. Pastor talked about lack of faith being the biggest issue in our lives. That we need to step out on faith, that's all God asks. We are not responsible for the outcome, that is God's doing. He is the only one that knows the master plan and who are we to question that plan?? We are simply to have faith that God is in control, that He loves us and He will make things work out! The ending is up to Him not us. I can not direct what other people do, think or say. I can not base my faith (or lack thereof) on someone Else's, including my husband and children's. And when I give into the temptation that Satan lays out before me, I am basically saying that I know more then God does so I going to do things my way!!

So.... now that I have had my proverbial "spanking" it is time to ask for forgiveness, accept that Jesus died on the cross for me and live each day in a way that is pleasing to my Father. I will stumble, I will backslide, I will fail miserably but I know without a shadow of a doubt that God will be there to catch me when I fall and I know through faith that He will make it right again!

evening with the kids

So... I'm home from Haiti. It was a good trip, a little stressful and I didn't get as much done as I wanted to but I still got to see my boys and Carsen and the rest of the girls so it was very much worth it.

On Thursday night we took to the kids to dinner and then went for a walk along the Sacramento River. Here in Redding we have some beautiful river trails and we never use them!! The kids loved it! Here are a few pictures of our evening.

Afterwards, we went to ice cream (don't worry, Frank, I didn't eat any!!!). I think Sutton enjoyed hers the most!!!

Although, I know without a doubt that God is calling us to move to Haiti, I will miss the freedom of a walk along the river at dusk, sitting at an ice cream parlor enjoying the night air and just being free to go anywhere we want to.

My Dad

Father's Day is always a hard day for me. My dad passed away Jan. 14, 1997. I have gone through 10 Father's Day's without him! It is never easy.

I was a Daddy's girl early on! Then my dad and I went through some real rocky times when I was a teenager, I was such a California girl/rebel and he had been raised in a very strict mid-western family that we often clashed! But, as I got older we got pretty close again. I knew without a doubt (although he rarely told me) that he loved me. After Carsen was born I saw a side of my dad that I never thought I'd see. He loved his first grandchild so much! He loved being "Papa" to her, my nephew who is 6 weeks younger then Carsen and to Shane.

The hurt I feel when I miss my father is so much easier to bear knowing that I will see him again! My dad became a Christian when he was young but turned his back on his faith for many years. On Christmas eve 1996 (just a few weeks before he died) my father stood next to me in church and recommited his life to Christ. He never said anything to anyone about it, but I knew! I witnessed the Spirit come over my father and watched as he cried tears of joy! I sight I had never seen before and will remember for the rest of my life!

Dad, I love you and miss you more then you can imagine. I know you are in Heaven preparing a place for all of us. I'm sorry that during your time here on earth you did not get the chance to meet all your grandkids, but I'm certain you will someday!! And you are going to love everyone of them! I love you, Daddy!!

Isaiah Aaron

I really miss my little man. He is getting so big.

Isaiah, Mommy will be there in a few days. Save some kisses for me! I'm sure Sissy is taking good care of you while I'm gone. Pray hard, little man, that Mommy and Daddy and all your big sibs will be living with you very, very soon!!


Isaiah and his "dreadlocks"

Instead of posting here I should be painting the den. It is the last room in the house to be done. The realtor comes on Thursday for us to sign the papers to put it on the market so I should get off my behind and go paint, BUT....

I'm missing my daughter! Carsen and I have always been close.

I was only 19 when I had her so in someways we grew up together.

There have been times when she thought she hated me but those times did not last long and I've been truly blessed to have a daughter that I can also call my friend!

Carsen has spent her life making us laugh, smile, cry and be completely in awe of her. She has more self confidence then any 18 year old I know, yet is so humble about who she is. She is beautiful and does not know it! Which makes her even more beautiful. Carsen inspires me to be a better person, a better mother, a better human being!

Carsen as Alice in

"Alice in Wonderland"

Poohbear, I'm so proud of you! And I miss you oh so much! I'll see you next week. Keep the faith and don't forget to turn to your Father whenever you need something, He will supply your every need.

Carsen and her boyfriend, Aaron the day she left for Haiti!

What a weekend!!!!

I bet most of you did not spend your weekend going through 20 years of junk trying to figure out what to keep, what to put in storage, what to throw away and what to sale! That's what Jody and I have been doing. It's been quite a chore. We had 15 tubs in our garage that had photo's, memento's and what not and we were able to get it down to 6! That's right 6!! Including all my Christmas stuff!!!

I can not believe the amount of stuff we got rid of. I can not even begin to count the number of times we said, "why were we keeping this??" We have a 2 yard garbage dumpster that was delivered on Friday and was full by Saturday night. Our 2 car garage is so full of garage sale stuff that there is no way even 1 car will fit in there!

We painted the boys old room which is now the girls room. We moved the boys into Shane's old room because he moved into Carsen's old room. The girls were using the den as a room so now I get to repaint it and move my desk out of the dining room back into the den where it belongs! Did you get all that??? It's been crazy around here!

I also finally cleaned out my bathroom shelves. I'm embarrassed to admit that I had medicine in there that expired in 2005!! And half full hair products that I haven't used in months. I also purged several years of bad clothing choices. My closet looks empty, my shelves are all clean and I have no idea what to do with it! I'm a slob by nature so this is a huge deal for me.

Now on to the desk....may take days but I'm determined!

Have a Blessed week!!!

Hey everyone out there in BLOGland. (Is there really such a place.) OK. Everyone sit down. It's Jody doing the blogging tonight. Now those of you that know me well know that I am what is called a "Computard" (for "Computer Retard.") I hate these things and they don't much like me but here I go with my first ever blog post. So hold on for dear life and please bear with me.

Someone out there tell me what is wrong with me? I have had the same, good paying job with great benefits for 26 years. I can collect a full retirement in less than three years. I live in a beautiful house on a large piece of land in a nice, quiet community in Northern California. I have a pool. I own three cars. There is plenty of room for all of my kids here. The Schools in this City are excellent. My kids love it here. They have friends here. They are involved in activities here. Gail and I have a wonderful Church home. The only drawback to us living here is that I have a 165 mile commute to work, one way. Even there the Lord has blessed me. I have been blessed that my best friend lives in the city I work and has graciously let me stay with him rent free for the past two years. I have a room of my own there in a 3600 square foot house so it's not like I'm inconvenienced when I'm there. Other than being away from Gail and the kids during my 4-day work week things seem to be working out quite well. So what's wrong with me???!!! I am SERIOUSLY considering giving all of this up to move my family to a poor, corrupt and unstable third world country where none of us speak the language!!!! Whats wrong with me??!!! I finally had to admit to myself during my last trip in February of this year that I was starting to feel more at "home" when I was in Haiti then when I am in the U.S. What is wrong with me??!!! Do I not understand all of the logistics involved in moving a family this size to another Country much less to somewhere else in the U.S. Don't I realize my children will need to be "home schooled." What am I trying to do to my children? We will eventually come back to the U.S. to live. Will they be "behind" other kids their ages scholastically? Will they miss out on playing American Football? (Shane), Baseball? (Dylan) Gymnastics? (Kynsley). Whats wrong with me? Giving up a secure job to take one that I am under a contract and I am an "at will" employee and I can be terminated at any time without cause. Whats wrong with me???!! I can "coast" into retirement from here. I pick my shifts, my days off, my vacations. I even get to pick the beat I work because of my Seniority within the department. I pick the busiest beat on the south side of town but IF I wanted to, I could pick the slowest beat in the city and you know what? Nobody would even blink. I've been a cop longer than some of the guys and gals I work with have been alive. I've "done my time" as we like to say. I've earned the right to pick a slow beat. (Just can't do it though.) So, why on earth would I want a job training the National Police of a third world county in SWAT Tactics and other Police related matters when I can't even communicate with them without an interpreter?

So for now we wait. (Has Gail mentioned lately that she hates to wait? on anyone? or for anything?) There is a promotional opportunity for me that I am in the running for that will not be announced until July of 2007. If I get promoted it will be something I've worked very hard for and will be a drastic increase in my salary and retirement benefits. Even if I don't get promoted, our department is looking at signing a new contract, effective in July, that could potentially boost my retirement income by up to 19 % .

So while we wait, some of us impatiently, would someone tell me what is wrong with me and why I am even considering this crazy, way outside of my comfort zone, life changing move?

Prayer needed!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of the young men that lives at Angel House named Junior is very, very sick. He has bleeding ulcers and is now vomiting blood. He was taken to a hospital last night and is waiting an Endoscope.

Please, pray for healing, pray for the doctor's, pray for the nurses and pray for Jimmy (my son) who is Junior's best friend and is very very worried about him.

Waiting is from the Devil!!!!!

I am not good at being patient!!! I'm just not!!! Today was one of those days when I just wanted things to happen. IN MY TIMING!! Ugh!

We are still no closer to making a decision....and it's driving me nuts!!! NUTS!!!!

Did I mention that I HATE WAITING!!!!!

Crossroads

I haven't blogged much lately. Jody and I have been wrestling with some major life changing decisions. Decisions that will affect our entire family. We really feel we are at a crossroads in life. We have been presented with an opportunity that we have been asking for, but now that it's here we want to be sure it is the direction that God wants us to take. This decision also conflicts with another possible opportunity that we will not know the outcome until mid-July. So, for the time being we wait...and prepare for 2 paths. And pray! If God closes the door on one, we are going to have to have faith and walk through the other one!

Most people who know me at all, know I am not good at waiting. When a decision is made I want to move forward, immediately! Patience is not a virtue I have. Mix that with a huge case of self-centeredness and you have a pretty lethal combination. My heart and soul feels VERY strongly about one of the opportunity's. Jody does not feel it as strongly, he wants to wait and see what happens in July!! JULY!! It feels like a lifetime from now! Yes, I know in the big scheme of things it is only 6 weeks away. BUT, do you know how much I could get done in 6 weeks if I KNEW which direction we were going to be traveling!!!

The one thing we do know is that either way we will be selling our house. So, we have 2 weeks to patch holes, fix a toilet, de-clutter, repaint 3 rooms, move the kids bedrooms around and start packing. At least I will have all this to keep me busy and not drive my much more patient husband nuts!

As God reveals His will for us, I will let you know the specifics but for now all of you will need to practice a virtue I struggle with so much....Patience!!

Happy Birthday, Sis!!!

Angela,
Thank you for all you do for me, for my kids and for everyone at Angel House!! You are an amazing woman and I pray that my daughters can grow to have the faith, courage and commitment to our Lord that you do.

Happy Birthday, my friend, co-worker for Christ, sister! I love you!!!!

garage sale day

Today is Carsen's garage sale and we have started off VERY VERY slow!! She is getting worried. Please, pray that people will come, that people will BUY and that she reaches her goal of $800

We had soooo many people donate good stuff for the sale, now all we need are people to buy it!! Cause, not only does she REALLY need the money but I really do not want to have to haul the leftovers to the Salvation Army!!

weather in Haiti

Just heard from Gretchen, who heard from Angela that the weather in Haiti today is not good!! VERY VERY rainy!! Schools were closed, roads bad etc.

BUT, our amazing guys are still out working on files trying to get everything done! Please, pray for them. Traveling in Haiti is always an interesting experience but add in torrential rain and it gets downright scary!

Cute Kynsley story

When we were in Haiti a few weeks ago, Kynsley, being a typical 7 year old, lost a tooth. She was very excited about her being in Haiti and losing another tooth!! That night when she went to bed she did what just about every American kid does...she put her tooth in a plastic bag and put it under her pillow in hopes that the tooth fairy would be paying a visit that night. Well, the tooth fairy must have had a lot on her mind that night because she did not visit Kynsley! Or maybe she didn't remember her passport or got lost cause there was no electricity, whatever the reason no surprise for Kynsley when she woke up just the same plastic bag with the old yucky tooth still in it!

When Kynsley woke up, she burst into tears and was very upset. I of course, was just furious with that fairy, I mean what was she thinking forgetting my baby like that!! Michelle and You-you saved the day by pointing out to Kynsley that she shared her pillow with Mia that night so maybe the tooth fairy got a little confused and that the tooth fairy doesn't come to Haiti often because most of the children throw their teeth into the street instead of saving it for her! They suggested to her that she try again that night!

Thank goodness that the tooth fairy had helpers because she arrived that night and fixed Kynsley up with $1US and $10H.

Now, move ahead 2 weeks. We are back home and low and behold my 7 year old lost another tooth, surprising isn't it!!

Anyway, Kynsely goes through the same routine, plastic bag, under the pillow etc. and once again the over worked, under paid, stressed out tooth fairy forgot!! Kynsley was much calmer this time and simply said, "that's OK, Mom, the tooth fairy probably just thought I was still in Haiti. Can you call You-you and have her check under my pillow there and see if she left my surprise."

After composing myself from the fit of laughter I reminded her that the tooth fairy does not leave surprises without the tooth. So, I suggested she try again that night and once again the tooth fairy got her act together and took care of business! You know, it amazes me that the tooth fairy is so forgetful, I mean after all, there are only 9 kids in the Gray family to keep track of!!

prayer needed

I just got word that a very good friend of mine has lost her baby. She was 5 months pregnant. Her and her husband have been trying for several years to get pregnant.

Please, pray for Abby and Nario as they grieve this loss. Please, pray for Jody and I as we try to minister to this amazing Godly couple as well as the rest of our friends and church family.

just 2 weeks!

And 1 day, I will be on another plane heading to my "other" home. To the place I feel called to be, the place I feel the most alive at, the place where I feel God is asking us to move to! It saddens me though that to go there means to leave behind my husband and my children. My heart's desire is for all of us to go! To stay, to minister and serve the children of Haiti, to assist bringing children into forever family's.

I know I must wait for God's perfect timing, for His will to be revealed to us.

Waiting is never easy.

Patience is not a virtue I possess.

Lord God, help me to wait on You!

More God moments!

Yesterday Jody, Carsen and I drove to Sacramento, got fingerprinted and got our documents authenticated. It only took about 1 hour to do everything! Traffic was light, none of the offices were busy, we found parking in downtown Sacramento right across the street from the Secretary of States office and everyone we encountered throughout the day was helpful.

I went to book my ticket that I had on hold and the hold had expired, I was pretty upset because the ticket was so cheap and I just knew that I would not find another one that low. BUT, God is good and I actually found another ticket for $100 less!! It is by far the most inexpensive ticket to Haiti I have every bought! And it couldn't have come at a more perfect time!

As soon as my documents get back from The Haitian Consulate in Chicago our dossier is finished and I've already requested an appointment at DHS to submit our Orphan First Petition. Thank you God for removing all the barriers!

AMAZING GOD!

Why is it that I'm so amazed by God? Once again, God provided us with exactly what we asked for. Yesterday I asked for prayer for 3 things and today God provided 2 of them.

Our home study arrived today and we received our fingerprint appointment...for tomorrow! We only have to drive to Sacramento 1 time!! We will get our documents authenticated at the Secretary of State's office and then go directly to DHS to get fingerprinted. We should have our I-171h in time for me to file our Orphan First petition in May!

God is good...all the time!

Thank you Jesus for answered prayers!

Prayer Requests

We arrived home safe and sound although very tired.

I will post more pictures when the jet lag wears off.

I have 3 prayer requests:
1. That our home study arrives in the mail tomorrow! It was mailed to us a few days ago and if it arrives by tomorrow, I will be able to drive to Sacramento on Friday to have it authenticated. I can then send it to the Haitian consulate in Chicago to get legalized. This should enable me to hand deliver it in May!!

2. That DHS will book us appointments for our fingerprinting ASAP. This would enable me to go to Haiti on May 17th with several members of the board AND file our I-600 and Orphan First Petition at the same time. If it does not get done, I will need to wait to travel to Haiti until it is done, thus missing out on some important board meetings etc. We also need the appointments to happen soon since Carsen is leaving June 3rd for 7 months and she needs to be fingerprinted as well!

3. That we are able to come up with around $6000 for the entire family to go to Haiti this summer. I really feel God is calling me there to continue helping with the progress that was accomplished over the last 3 weeks with our adoption program. I will need to take all 5 kids with me or it would be impossible for me to go!

Thanks!!!!!

Sad day

Just a quick note, it was a sad day today. George died last night. Dylan woke up and George had gone to lizard heaven. We buried him in one of You-you's plants. Dylan cried for a long time but is doing much better.

Kynsley also woke up to a sad sight. Her face got really sunburned on Friday and one cheek and her nose blistered and popped. It is not a pretty sight on my pretty little girls face. We have been putting aloe on it all day so we are praying it does not scar.

What a way to spend our last day in Haiti.